LineSpeakerSt TimeContentEn Time
1LES_int_010.3366Alright.0.7088
3 1.0506So, it is September tenth,2.8446 
5 3.8575Okay.4.0467 
7 4.6813We're talking to /RD-NAME-4/. Did I say your last name right?7.6918 
9 8.5766So, I would ask you to like start at the beginning and tell me about kind of12.2282 
11 13.4359where you began. So, maybe you can start by just telling me when and where you were born.18.0193 
12LES_se0_ag2_f_0118.8782Okay,19.2871
14 19.8302I was20.2146 
16 20.3428born on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.23.3511 
17LES_int_0123.5220Alright.23.7722
18LES_se0_ag2_f_0124.4434And on25.9316
20 26.1207um26.6533 
22 28.0917At /RD-ADDRESS-6/29.4092 
23LES_int_0129.6899Okay.30.0621
24LES_se0_ag2_f_0130.1293right there on Fourteenth Street.31.2495
25LES_int_0131.2495Okay.31.5267
26LES_se0_ag2_f_0132.2347And um.33.0524
27LES_int_0135.0066I asked when.35.5784
28LES_se0_ag2_f_0135.6351When. Oh, [when. I was-] eh- February twenty-seventh.38.1305
29LES_int_0136.1548[Yeah.]36.5046
30 38.3624Uh-huh.38.6675
31LES_se0_ag2_f_0138.6675Nineteen Seventy-nine.39.5645
32LES_int_0139.7171[Seventy-nine.]40.2352
33LES_se0_ag2_f_0140.0527[That] makes me twenty-nine years [old.]41.2243
34LES_int_0141.1144[Twenty-nine.]41.7125
35 41.8710Okay.42.1945
37 42.3592I'm almost twenty-eight.43.2013 
39 43.3050So.43.5491 
40LES_se0_ag2_f_0143.9946Mm-hm.44.4095
41LES_int_0144.6522You're close.45.1525
42LES_se0_ag2_f_0145.3123Mm-hm.45.6651
43LES_int_0145.9641Uh, so tell me about your family's history, like how did they end up living on the Lower East Side?50.7872
45 51.6476What do your parents do?52.6850 
46LES_se0_ag2_f_0152.8864Um.53.4283
48 53.7822It's funny, both of my parents, um, not migrated, but yeah, kind of, from Harlem.57.7547 
50 58.1074[They came from.]58.9571 
51LES_int_0158.3590[Oh yeah.]59.0242
52LES_se0_ag2_f_0159.7869They came from Harlem.60.6261
53LES_int_0160.6261Okay.60.9618
54LES_se0_ag2_f_0161.1692They were uh, one of those uh62.6765
56 63.0121a lot of the families that were64.1351 
58 65.0687um65.5508 
60 65.9657looking to.66.9707 
62 68.3192Well- I what I understood it was that both my grandmothers were single mothers and they71.7059 
63LES_int_0171.8463Yeah.72.1941
64LES_se0_ag2_f_0172.3594trying to73.0611
66 73.2320find more opportunities74.5317 
68 75.1993and uh,75.9377 
70 77.9209there was housing opportunities over here.79.7284 
71LES_int_0179.9298Yeah.80.2715
72LES_se0_ag2_f_0180.8390And so a lot of people.82.2104
74 82.4072That's- I think- I can see like the history of it was like84.7346 
76 86.5775the more Jewish, the Jewish87.9505 
78 88.5058population was actually flocking to Queens and to the [suburbs.]91.6131 
79LES_int_0191.1798[Right,] they were leaving.92.2355
80LES_se0_ag2_f_0192.3209And then92.8274
82 93.2546the Hispanic and la- and95.0334 
84 95.5948and Black96.4003 
86 97.0166um97.4620 
88 98.3590population started moving99.6440 
90 100.1749ma- like further down and spreading out [more.]102.0876 
91LES_int_01101.8835[Yeah.]102.2550
92LES_se0_ag2_f_01102.2496Because there was a- for housing opportunities and.104.2178
93LES_int_01104.2178Right.104.6511
94LES_se0_ag2_f_01105.1259<ts> So I- both of my grandmothers106.5111
96 106.6087simultaneously came107.6400 
98 108.1221to n- the Lower East Side.110.0442 
99LES_int_01110.2212Uh-huh.110.5710
100LES_se0_ag2_f_01110.7979Uh.111.3715
102 113.1777And113.4767 
104 113.5866came113.9954 
106 114.3737to Loui-114.8009 
108 114.9168to Lower East Side from116.0719 
110 116.2062from the same neighborhoods in Harlem.117.5303 
112 118.4484[And so.]118.9427 
113LES_int_01118.5948[Did they] know each other?119.6063
114LES_se0_ag2_f_01119.7542No.120.1082
116 120.3645And then it was funny because- or they knew of each other.122.5170 
117LES_int_01122.5170Okay.122.9198
118LES_se0_ag2_f_01122.9686And it's funny, then their children later on124.6406
120 124.7809get together and have me.125.7390 
122 125.9159Right.126.1966 
124 126.3065But126.4651 
125LES_int_01126.4651Right.126.9838
126LES_se0_ag2_f_01127.2279they, um,127.8785
127LES_int_01128.3605that's hilarious129.0989
128LES_se0_ag2_f_01129.2820So they knew each other for years, and them my mother and my father met131.8082
130 132.4307just132.8273 
132 133.1629happenstance like lately134.3911 
134 134.4887you know, years later on.135.6542 
135LES_int_01135.8068Yeah.136.1973
136LES_se0_ag2_f_01136.6001[Um.]136.9540
137LES_int_01136.6550[Did they] meet on the Lower East [Side?]138.0278
138LES_se0_ag2_f_01137.8997[Yeah.]138.1316
139 138.3574They met on the Lower East Side.139.5595
140LES_int_01139.6205Wow.140.0565
141LES_se0_ag2_f_01140.0565And actually,140.8193
142 141.5271you can141.9125
144 142.1261uh,142.5289 
146 142.8462on J- in Jackson Park,144.1032 
147LES_int_01144.3229Yeah.144.6585
148LES_se0_ag2_f_01144.7806there's a tree145.5738
150 145.7142with their- their initials in it147.0501 
152 147.4345from when they were little kids.148.5623 
153LES_int_01148.7759Oh no. [That's so cute.]151.7049
154LES_se0_ag2_f_01149.7339[Yeah, they were high school sweethearts.]151.3693
155 152.2480They were high school sweet hearts.153.0474
157 153.2976And they not together now.154.3601 
158LES_int_01154.3601<laugh>155.0374
159LES_se0_ag2_f_01155.0984[But the tree,]156.0321
160LES_int_01155.3306[But it was cute] at the [time.]156.8619
161LES_se0_ag2_f_01156.4897[And] the- the initials are still in there.158.3571
162LES_int_01158.5035Oh. [That's amazing.]160.1084
163LES_se0_ag2_f_01159.0945[It's crazy.]159.8277
165 160.1023Yeah.160.4562 
166LES_int_01160.6942That's really funny.161.5546
167LES_se0_ag2_f_01161.5546You can still go back there and look at that.163.0923
168LES_int_01163.3669[Yeah.]163.7269
169LES_se0_ag2_f_01163.5744[The tree.]163.9894
170LES_int_01164.1237So, what's your like ancestry? Are your um, do you have like Caribbean roots? Or ju- African [American?]169.4839
171LES_se0_ag2_f_01169.2886[Just, I Af- I- I hate to s- use [those boxes and squares.]172.5179
172LES_int_01171.7185[Yeah.]172.0145
174 172.1212[I know, I know, I know.]173.1891 
175LES_se0_ag2_f_01172.6460[If we have to.]173.4759
176LES_int_01173.4759I know.173.9152
177LES_se0_ag2_f_01174.1105[Um.]174.6542
178LES_int_01174.3491[I'm just-] I'm just [curious] because um,176.3079
179LES_se0_ag2_f_01175.3494[Yeah.]175.6488
180LES_int_01176.4604I did another project in the Bronx178.4432
182 178.7487and it was really interesting because everybody was really mixed. And you know, there was like182.0744 
184 182.3428one grandmother was from, you know,184.5024 
186 185.6069Jamaica, then the other grandmother was from you know, Atlanta, and [so everybody] had these really interesting histories, so192.3459 
187LES_se0_ag2_f_01189.4532[Oh.]190.0390
188 192.5289[<laugh>]193.2368
189LES_int_01192.5289[just curious.]193.4015
190LES_se0_ag2_f_01193.7738Nope. Um.194.7911
192 195.7248Both of my parents, both of my parents were197.9370 
194 199.1513they're just199.6639 
196 199.8470we are- I hate to say that we're African American. [It's] so s-202.3237 
197LES_int_01201.6037[Right.]201.8844
199 202.2139[Do you] not like that word?203.1353 
200LES_se0_ag2_f_01203.3550I mean, you think about it. It's like um,205.3285
202 205.6549It's205.8578 
204 205.9394a- fundamentally st-207.0643 
206 207.2834um, stupid and208.2207 
208 208.8304It's hi- it's covering a truth. A- a history.211.3064 
209LES_int_01211.4136Yeah.211.7587
210LES_se0_ag2_f_01211.7493It's not acknowledging it at all.213.1902
211LES_int_01213.3720[Yeah.]213.6938
212LES_se0_ag2_f_01213.4933[It's just] perpetuating a social s-214.9845
213 215.0871uh-215.2596
215 215.3715social construct.216.4393 
216LES_int_01216.5372Yeah.216.8963
217LES_se0_ag2_f_01217.1201It's217.3999
219 217.6703like, African American, so Africa,219.9367 
221 220.1035Africa's a whole continent.221.5106 
222LES_int_01221.6862Yeah.222.0725
223LES_se0_ag2_f_01222.2613Plethora of222.8760
225 223.5169you know,224.1371 
226LES_int_01224.2732[Right.]224.6068
227LES_se0_ag2_f_01224.3214[beliefs] and cultures and dialects.226.6483
228 226.8371And to-227.7437
230 228.6129to-228.9905 
232 229.1222to just give it back to me in my- some measly name, like oh, well you know what?232.6399 
233LES_int_01232.8682Yeah.233.2633
234LES_se0_ag2_f_01233.2633/Up/ in the past, you know, we've-234.8263
235 235.1599your predecessors were pulled from your country, and brought here and enslaved,238.8494
237 239.4509and you know, we'll give you back Africa in their name. You know, like242.4736 
239 242.6404not- not specific, like243.8373 
240LES_int_01243.8373[Right.]244.5705
241LES_se0_ag2_f_01244.3158[e-] I don't have any regions that I'm,245.8497
242 246.0209you know, [just Africa.]246.9209
243LES_int_01246.4775[Right, right.]247.5674
244LES_se0_ag2_f_01247.2024[Just]247.6327
245 247.8686African.248.6775
246LES_int_01248.6775Yeah.249.0639
247LES_se0_ag2_f_01249.2088[So.]249.8443
248LES_int_01249.2088[S- It seems] like uh, not enough.251.3457
249 251.6223It's like.252.0976
250LES_se0_ag2_f_01252.5190Mm. I'd rather, I'd like to call everybody brown.254.6527
252 254.9227[Or different shades] of brown.256.1739 
253LES_int_01254.9227[<laugh>]255.7173
254 256.3100I like [that.]257.0432
255LES_se0_ag2_f_01256.8636[I] think that we would [get to a better direction that way.]259.4623
256LES_int_01258.1057[That's- that's very] inclusive.260.2168
257LES_se0_ag2_f_01260.2168Hey man, everybody's brown. [Everybody's] got some different color263.2170
258LES_int_01261.4258[Yeah. (laughing)]262.0712
259 263.2170Yeah.263.6906
260LES_se0_ag2_f_01263.6906but it's brown.264.4018
261LES_int_01264.5171[Tinted.]265.2725
262LES_se0_ag2_f_01264.5656[It's some brown] and, some white. [It's tinted.]266.6335
263LES_int_01266.0671[<laugh>]267.2700
264LES_se0_ag2_f_01267.4413You know.267.9549
266 268.2831I'd like that way better.269.6574 
267LES_int_01269.7033Yeah. [Yeah.]270.3312
268LES_se0_ag2_f_01270.0414[Because]270.3882
269 270.6077just-271.0819
271 271.9424just272.4648 
273 272.9832/breries/ too [much.]274.3510 
274LES_int_01274.1479[Yeah.] Yeah. [Right.]275.1609
275LES_se0_ag2_f_01274.7805[So, I'm just] saying just for like276.0449
276LES_int_01276.5761Yeah.276.8263
277LES_se0_ag2_f_01276.9361for the purpose of the interview, but278.1610
279 278.4727man,278.9117 
281 279.0961I- I us- I usually say I'm brown.280.6459 
283 280.9532[I'm a] brown person, but282.1941 
284LES_int_01280.9532[Okay.]281.3293
285 282.2688That's [good.]282.7429
286LES_se0_ag2_f_01282.6156[I] did-283.2259
287 283.6649I don't284.0820
289 284.1742like, I don't- most of my family's from the South.286.1761 
291 286.5741[Yeah.] And (laughing) then [uh.] 287.7068 
292LES_int_01286.5741[Yeah.]286.8441
294 287.4829[Do you] still have family down [there?]288.8406 
295LES_se0_ag2_f_01288.6288[Yeah.]288.8351
296 289.0942Have family down [there in the South.]290.5210
297LES_int_01289.6594[Do you go like, visit?]290.7745
298LES_se0_ag2_f_01291.0599Yeah, we have family reunions.292.5087
299LES_int_01293.0558Oh, you do?293.7480
300LES_se0_ag2_f_01293.7480Mm-hm. [I just didn't make] the last one that we had.295.9435
301LES_int_01294.0908[That's fun.]294.8942
302LES_se0_ag2_f_01296.3298But, we have family reunions and298.1562
304 298.5893every year, we go different299.7132 
306 299.9679places, but a lot of the family's from the South.302.0006 
308 302.6064And uh.303.5372 
310 304.3318Uh.304.6815 
312 305.3664My f-305.6913 
314 305.8142my father306.6791 
316 307.1523my /??/ my last name, a lot of people have my last name in Panama.309.9059 
317LES_int_01310.5937Huh.310.9405
318LES_se0_ag2_f_01311.2478Yeah.311.6298
319LES_int_01311.7571That's [interesting.]312.4376
320LES_se0_ag2_f_01312.2576[Yeah,] I went there, and313.5396
321 314.2684a phonebook had my last name [when I-]316.5630
322LES_int_01316.0684[<laugh>] Did you call? Were you [like okay.<laugh>]319.2674
323LES_se0_ag2_f_01317.9064[I- I wanted to.]319.0391
325 319.2546But, it was so weird because, um,321.4058 
326 321.8668u- I- f- In America, I've never- I've never hea- rarely hear people with my last name, /RD-NAME-2/.326.1308
327LES_int_01326.1308I've never heard it before I [think.]327.6279
328LES_se0_ag2_f_01327.1274[/RD-NAME-2/].327.6192
329 328.0231And my father329.0021
331 329.1821put329.4352 
333 329.5845two S's at the end.330.5942 
335 330.6952He put331.1518 
337 331.2835the other S at the end.332.2055 
338LES_int_01332.2055Okay.332.6621
339LES_se0_ag2_f_01332.9606It's like /RD-NAME-9/.335.3775
340LES_int_01335.3775Okay. [Okay.]336.4267
341LES_se0_ag2_f_01335.8736[Double, double.]336.3521
342LES_int_01336.7560[Yeah.]337.2082
343LES_se0_ag2_f_01336.9184[And, um. Then.]337.9395
344LES_int_01337.6234[That is] rare I think.338.7386
345LES_se0_ag2_f_01339.2435Even if you try to Google my name,340.7434
347 341.0990a lot of people who do have /RD-NAME-2/, they have one S.343.7595 
348LES_int_01344.4664Yeah.344.7595
349LES_se0_ag2_f_01344.7518And then,345.1996
350 345.6254When I go to Panama,346.9893
351LES_int_01347.0902Yeah.347.3712
352LES_se0_ag2_f_01347.6478There's, uh, some that had two S's, it was weird. It was very crazy, but,351.5991
354 352.0952it was cool. And the- it was cool to see that, and then354.1571 
356 354.4293just being there, I looked like the-355.9000 
358 356.0844like the people there, uh, nobody knew,357.4674 
360 357.5991people was asking me what island I was- I was from.359.6346 
361LES_int_01359.9447[Oh, really?]360.3530
362LES_se0_ag2_f_01360.1307[And I'm] like360.5698
363 360.8947a really crazy small [island]362.8483
364LES_int_01362.6026[<laugh>]362.8483
365LES_se0_ag2_f_01363.0722far363.6079
367 363.8186far [away.]364.7270 
368LES_int_01364.1927[You're like,] well, [it's an island.]366.1931
369LES_se0_ag2_f_01365.4004[It's an island.]366.2350
370 366.3749It's far, and it's [crazy.]367.8024
371LES_int_01367.4336[It's a] little [different.]368.6717
372LES_se0_ag2_f_01368.4961[<laugh>]368.8297
373 369.0054It's crazy.369.5761
374LES_int_01369.8615<laugh>370.5399
375LES_se0_ag2_f_01370.6693But, they look like me.371.6643
377 371.8882So, I lo- I feel like372.8234 
379 373.0078my father could be from Panama. I did ask him and he doesn't know much about his father, and I don't know much about him.377.1692 
380LES_int_01377.3696Right. 377.7648
381LES_se0_ag2_f_01377.7648[So.]378.0150
382LES_int_01378.0150Right.378.4804
384 378.8667So you grew up with your mom?379.9555 
385LES_se0_ag2_f_01380.2804I grew with my mom. I grew up with her382.1770
387 382.3175and382.7434 
389 382.8882she raised uh four of us.384.0940 
390LES_int_01384.2960Oh, so you- okay, you have siblings.385.3233
391LES_se0_ag2_f_01385.4945I have siblings. I have [two] older brothers and a younger sister, she's twenty-eight. 388.5677
392LES_int_01386.1970[Yeah.]386.4234
393 389.0375Cool.389.3257
394LES_se0_ag2_f_01389.3257And we389.8833
395 390.0018w- and my older brothers are thirty-two392.0697
397 392.4955thirty-si-393.2111 
399 393.8143thirty-f- s- five and thirty six. Yeah.396.0006 
400LES_int_01395.8733Okay.396.2948
401 397.3687<laugh>398.2380
402LES_se0_ag2_f_01398.2336They're old, I tease them.399.1907
403 399.4788But um.400.0364
405 400.7695It was four of us, and my father kind of left when I was three.403.3247 
406LES_int_01403.4871Okay.403.8120
407LES_se0_ag2_f_01404.3213And he go ji- addicted to drugs.406.2947
408LES_int_01406.2947Oh.406.7293
409LES_se0_ag2_f_01406.8654Yeah. To uh,408.1167
411 409.3567uh, tar heroin, and crack.410.8167 
413 411.9565[But.]412.3297 
414LES_int_01412.1321[So this] was at the end of th- the [eighties?]413.9892
415LES_se0_ag2_f_01413.7258[He's] around the right time.414.8673
416 415.1175Right.415.3765
418 415.9762But, he [uh.]417.0079 
419LES_int_01416.8383[That's so-] that's so brutal.418.0764
420LES_se0_ag2_f_01418.0764Me and him, I haven't talked to him, it's funny cause I haven't talked to him for six years.421.0310
421LES_int_01421.1041Wow.421.5388
422LES_se0_ag2_f_01421.9163And I just started talking to him.423.2422
424 423.8525[Um.]424.1035 
425LES_int_01423.8525[You] did?424.4583
426LES_se0_ag2_f_01424.6427Yeah, about like four-425.8281
428 425.9422four months ago.426.5876 
429LES_int_01427.4089What made you decide that you wanted to do that?429.2880
430LES_se0_ag2_f_01430.1265It's funny, /RD-NAME-3/431.3218
432 431.5545we- we'r- we're doing, um.432.9725 
434 433.9735<ts> We're taking classes, uh,435.5227 
436 436.2076where we're tryna436.9627 
438 437.6174uh,438.0652 
440 438.2584combine martia- like439.4559 
442 439.6534um.440.3207 
444 441.6598The martial arts trainings443.0421 
445LES_int_01443.1651Yeah.443.4197
446LES_se0_ag2_f_01443.7753with um, community organizing.445.5007
448 445.7422[The aspects] of it.446.6641 
449LES_int_01445.7422[Oh.]446.0802
450 447.0637Huh.447.3622
451LES_se0_ag2_f_01447.3622And448.0057
452 448.3130One of the things that we're doing is [um.]449.9656
453LES_int_01449.6001[That's cool.]450.1972
454LES_se0_ag2_f_01450.2807Yeah, /RD-NAME-3/ has us in this.451.4572
455LES_int_01451.8436[Yeah.]452.1465
456LES_se0_ag2_f_01451.9928[And] uh.452.6470
457 452.7611Uh. [Wha- you-]453.3714
458LES_int_01453.0201[Are you actually] learning453.9860
459 454.0826martial arts?454.6802
460LES_se0_ag2_f_01454.5659Yeah.454.8161
461 454.9522We're learning how to use that though456.6688
462LES_int_01456.9059[That's cool.]457.4503
463LES_se0_ag2_f_01456.9937[to center] ourselves in our work.458.5654
464LES_int_01459.0073[Wow.]459.5737
465LES_se0_ag2_f_01459.2488[And whatever] we're learning460.5703
466 461.0883it's actually spilling into our personal lives. [And that's-]463.7225
467LES_int_01463.2714[Yeah.]463.7225
468LES_se0_ag2_f_01463.8191that's one of the corollaries of it.465.2031
469LES_int_01465.6070[Wow.]466.3402
470LES_se0_ag2_f_01465.7475[I am]466.5641
471 466.8582<ts>466.9680
473 467.0674I am467.6777 
475 467.9367talking to my father now, because469.2406 
477 469.5348I'm thinking more about my energy470.9309 
479 471.2909and how it's used.472.3270 
480LES_int_01472.4499Right.472.8846
481LES_se0_ag2_f_01472.9796And there was way more negative energy used to-475.5699
483 475.7148to- to hate him476.7377 
484LES_int_01477.0187[Yeah.]477.5016
485LES_se0_ag2_f_01477.1899[than it] was to love him.478.2173
486LES_int_01478.3885Yeah.478.8099
487LES_se0_ag2_f_01478.8670So. It's like a less480.0245
489 480.4153I even feel like less energy being482.0836 
491 482.3865used483.0099 
492LES_int_01483.1504Yeah.483.6685
493LES_se0_ag2_f_01483.7036with um484.2875
495 485.0762[less hate]485.5432 
496LES_int_01485.0762[Like just] sort of letting it-486.1754
497 486.3993it out.486.7769
498LES_se0_ag2_f_01486.7769Letting it go. [And I mean, I've]488.0150
499LES_int_01487.4398[Yeah.]488.0150
500LES_se0_ag2_f_01488.1599w- I have this understanding with everybody else.489.9248
502 490.2233I'm so aware of all of these socioeconomic conditions492.6145 
504 492.9481but when it's right in front,494.2872 
506 495.0072you know, of me and it's- it's directly affecting me, I've 498.0123 
508 498.4996I was like not consistent with that.500.1937 
510 500.3386Like, I was [not consistent] with that in my life, so.503.0650 
511LES_int_01500.8962[Yeah.]501.3264
512LES_se0_ag2_f_01503.5219That's when I start talking with him [again.]504.8697
513LES_int_01504.6886[Yeah. Yeah.]505.8663
514LES_se0_ag2_f_01505.5063[And.]505.8488
515LES_int_01505.9805Where- where is he? is he still in the city?507.5429
516LES_se0_ag2_f_01507.2663[He's still] in the neighborhood.508.2497
517 508.4253He's still in the neighborhood to his will.509.7512
518LES_int_01509.8741Wow.510.3834
519LES_se0_ag2_f_01510.4844And uh, it's funny because the way we found him. I found him in nineteen ninety514.1426
521 514.6562like, we got s- we started talking back in nineteen ninety-seven.517.1411 
522LES_int_01517.4093Yeah.517.7342
523LES_se0_ag2_f_01518.3576Right before I went to college.519.5913
524LES_int_01519.6966Yeah.520.1049
525LES_se0_ag2_f_01520.6844And he um.521.6371
527 521.7205We found him because we lost my cat.523.1239 
529 524.2478And it was [my senior year of high school.]526.2454 
530LES_int_01525.2532[Boy George.]526.1796
531LES_se0_ag2_f_01526.4737Yep. Boy George.527.2782
532LES_int_01527.2782<laugh>527.5943
533LES_se0_ag2_f_01527.5943We lost Boy [George.]528.7007
534LES_int_01528.5470[No.528.9904
535LES_se0_ag2_f_01529.2099My senior year in high school,530.6615
537 531.0390and I'm worried about my cat. I got midterms and everything, and my cat is missing, and I'm going crazy.535.4946 
538LES_int_01535.5385Yeah.535.9863
539LES_se0_ag2_f_01535.9863And he- he was one of those cats, this is a city, he would go out.539.1385
540 539.5604He [would um.]540.0345
541LES_int_01539.8018[Did you] let him out?540.6009
542LES_se0_ag2_f_01540.6931Yeah, he would go out to the windows and542.5985
544 542.8092He would do some crazy stuff, and sometimes go all throughout the building, but he would come back.546.4911 
545LES_int_01546.5306[Yeah.]546.9697
546LES_se0_ag2_f_01546.6228[And he would] start crying and547.9180
547 548.0541back at the door, like he always came back.550.1903
548LES_int_01550.2781Yeah.550.6557
549LES_se0_ag2_f_01550.6337But somebody, uh, one of the dagone maintenance men took him.552.7767
550LES_int_01552.9183[<laugh> He did?]554.4066
551LES_se0_ag2_f_01553.3167[But we found-]554.1124
553 554.4066Yeah. He took him.555.1398 
554LES_int_01555.3221He did?555.8928
555LES_se0_ag2_f_01555.8928Maintenance man took him and put him in the basement.557.4382
556 557.7631Good for rats.558.6324
558 558.9865[They took my] cat, and put him down there for rats. [My cat.]561.9148 
559LES_int_01558.9865[What?]559.8689
561 561.4275[No.] No.562.8261 
562LES_se0_ag2_f_01563.5304But, um.564.4436
563LES_int_01563.8754[Come on.]564.4505
564LES_se0_ag2_f_01564.7553When we were in the court, when I was- my sister and I were door knocking.567.7373
566 567.8691looking for [my cat.]568.6549 
567LES_int_01568.4047[Oh.]568.9798
568LES_se0_ag2_f_01569.1861And that's how I found my father.570.3496
570 570.7080Like [acro-]571.2700 
571LES_int_01570.9715[No.]571.7310
572LES_se0_ag2_f_01571.7924He lives right across the street from me.573.5310
574 573.9964[I'm like]574.3476 
575LES_int_01574.1369[He] just answered the door?575.3925
576LES_se0_ag2_f_01575.5110No, actually, when. It was like- It's like a577.2452
578 577.3835it's like one of them houses where all the people579.2406 
580 579.3503do their drugs at and everything. [Like a little] crack spot.581.4823 
581LES_int_01580.6174[Yeah.]581.0345
582 581.7633Oh my [God.]582.8214
583LES_se0_ag2_f_01582.4131[And-] but we didn't know that. Anyway, we was knocking on the door.585.0805
584 585.4669And somebody said586.2791
586 586.3844/RD-NAME-1/.586.7313 
588 587.4190I think those are your kids outside.588.8547 
589LES_int_01589.0039Oh my [God.]589.8995
590LES_se0_ag2_f_01589.7722[And] my sister and I looked at each other591.1859
591 591.4186we was like592.0903
593 592.6990daddy (whispering)593.1512 
595 593.7878daddy?594.2576 
597 595.2673And we [found-]596.1586 
598LES_int_01595.7064[You were like] holy [shit. <laugh>]598.9848
599LES_se0_ag2_f_01596.6486[Holy shit. Like, wow. This is dad's house?]599.4260
600 599.8299And we just stood there still.601.0905
602 601.1783And then it was- was sure enough, it was him.602.5086 
604 602.6622So, we found him again.603.9003 
606 604.3318And it was like, oh, you live right across the street?606.2460 
608 606.3733What?606.9704 
609LES_int_01607.5324That's crazy.608.4368
610LES_se0_ag2_f_01608.4368That's how we started.609.3484
611 609.7743So he still lives in the neighborhood.611.1704
613 611.6665And um.612.4348 
615 613.1954<ts> But- and lives right across the street from my mom.614.9120 
617 615.3115Like literally. Th- well, now she moved further617.7152 
619 618.0269she moved to another smaller apartment619.3791 
621 619.6206[So they] live in the same development.620.9217 
622LES_int_01619.6206[Yeah.]619.9722
623LES_se0_ag2_f_01621.1281They live literally in the same622.6471
625 623.1388[development.]623.6525 
626LES_int_01623.1388[Is this-] do you live in Brooch?624.5946
627LES_se0_ag2_f_01624.9344No, I live in /RD-ADDRESS-2/626.4955
629 626.7913[I'm from /RD-ADDRESS-2/627.5860 
630LES_int_01626.9362[Oh. /RD-ADDRESS-2] Okay. I knew you- you- d- okay. I think /RD-NAME-8/ [from like- yeah.] I was like /RD-NAME-2/'s from /RD-ADDRESS-3/. Right.]633.6528
631LES_se0_ag2_f_01630.9813[It was from /RD-ADDRESS-2/.]632.0391
633 633.3781[Yeah.]633.9050 
634LES_int_01633.9821[But, I-] I forgot, I thought it was [pretty chill.]635.8748
635LES_se0_ag2_f_01633.9842[He's from /RD-ADDRESS-2/]634.6553
636 636.0153Yeah.636.4017
637LES_int_01636.4017<ts> Okay.636.8970
639 637.2048So, is that where you still live?638.1373 
640LES_se0_ag2_f_01638.4637He still lives there.639.3683
642 639.7600And, uh, yeah. My mother still lives there. My mother is642.7163 
644 643.1173He- my father's not doing anything with himself right now.644.9356 
645LES_int_01645.0242Yeah.645.2853
646LES_se0_ag2_f_01645.2853He actually volunteered yesterday for the elections.647.6401
647 647.8917Yup, you know, I got him to help them.649.5656
648LES_int_01649.8035That's [cool.]650.4333
649LES_se0_ag2_f_01650.0972[Well,] he could not volunteer. He got money. He got money to [do it. But.]652.7668
650LES_int_01652.5197[Yeah,] yeah.653.1259
651 653.2098[But, you got] him involved.654.4734
652LES_se0_ag2_f_01653.2331[You know.]653.7087
653 654.6276<ts> I got him involved, he got to see a little of what I do.657.2109
654LES_int_01657.3834Yeah.657.6865
655LES_se0_ag2_f_01657.8451And uh.658.6657
657 661.5754My mother, she's662.7831 
659 662.9323she's uh, a social worker.664.5457 
661 664.9700In d- in um, the Lower East Side.666.6127 
662LES_int_01666.6593Very cool.667.2375
663LES_se0_ag2_f_01667.2375She's been a social worker for o- she could t- she's669.7504
664 670.2447I don't know. She's close to retiring.671.4223
666 671.7953[She's her-] close to hitting that thirty year mark point.673.8796 
667LES_int_01671.7953[Yeah.]672.1073
668 674.0428Yeah.674.3991
669LES_se0_ag2_f_01674.7022[So,] she's um.676.0685
670LES_int_01674.7022[Yeah.]675.1453
671LES_se0_ag2_f_01676.4042She's been helping with parents at a head start program.678.4513
673 678.8336[On the Lower East Side.]679.8981 
674LES_int_01678.8336[Oh, that's cool.]679.7163
675 680.1266That's great.680.7514
676LES_se0_ag2_f_01680.8447So, she's still here and she works in the neighborhood.682.8809
677LES_int_01682.8809Yeah.683.2586
678LES_se0_ag2_f_01683.2586And I'm here, and I work in the [neighborhood.]684.8303
679LES_int_01684.5875[Yeah.] Yeah.685.3056
680 685.6381Do you still live with her? Or do you live on your [own?]687.2235
681LES_se0_ag2_f_01687.1116[I] live on my own. I'm living with- I live, um.689.2239
682 689.5469On /RD-ADDRESS-4/.690.4608
683LES_int_01690.6800Uh-huh.691.0064
684LES_se0_ag2_f_01691.3514Now.691.6871
685LES_int_01692.1068Yeah.692.3306
686LES_se0_ag2_f_01692.3819And I used to live with my sister, but she just moved out.694.3357
687LES_int_01694.5677U- Oh.695.5515
688LES_se0_ag2_f_01695.9246And uh.696.8805
689LES_int_01697.3607So, you live by yourself?698.2793
690LES_se0_ag2_f_01698.4845Yeah.698.8342
691LES_int_01698.9928How's that?699.4637
692LES_se0_ag2_f_01699.9953Uh, it's good.700.8288
694 700.9500[I mean.]701.5562 
695LES_int_01700.9500[Yeah.]701.4396
696 701.7008It's probably kind of cool right?702.7639
697LES_se0_ag2_f_01702.8478Yeah. It's cool.703.5846
699 703.7991[Cause, you know.]704.2514 
700LES_int_01703.9016[Like,] when you leave in the morning, and then you come back, and like706.5035
701 706.6559everything's707.2761
702LES_se0_ag2_f_01707.3880Back where you left it.708.2243
703LES_int_01708.2253Exactly [where you left it.]709.4458
704LES_se0_ag2_f_01708.6580[But that's-] that's what's making me- it's making you more account- like I'll711.4919
705 712.0607now I can't blame things on my sister, [like oh.]714.0224
706LES_int_01713.4668[<laugh> Right. (laughing) <laugh> Right.]714.9236
707LES_se0_ag2_f_01714.5120[She didn't] throw out the garbage? [It's all me.]716.8295
708LES_int_01715.9960[You're like-]716.4810
709 716.8621you're like, nope.717.5093
711 717.6206That was my [fault. <laugh>] 719.3132 
712LES_se0_ag2_f_01718.0542[It's all me.]718.5485
714 719.3132I can't even like, yeah. So.720.7626 
715LES_int_01720.7626<laugh>721.3781
716LES_se0_ag2_f_01721.3781It's putting me- [It's putting things] into perspective. Like ah shit man. I gotta-724.8078
717LES_int_01722.3504[That's funny.]723.0601
718LES_se0_ag2_f_01725.1015when people come over, I gotta make sure my726.8445
720 727.8657 My [stuff is] on point.728.8692 
721LES_int_01728.0523[Right.]728.4207
722 728.8697Right.729.2833
724 729.4046[That's pretty funny.]730.3278 
725LES_se0_ag2_f_01729.4652[But.]729.9501
726 730.4211Yeah, that's about it actually.731.5497
728 731.7922It's cool living without.732.6688 
729LES_int_01732.7994Tell me like, um.734.1052
731 734.2169<ts>734.3101 
733 734.5013What you remember about being a kid736.2312 
735 736.7302growing up.737.1638 
736LES_se0_ag2_f_01738.0078I've g- I- You know, it's so funny. It's- this is a memory that's good. It's so funny that you just said this.742.4457
737LES_int_01742.5716Yeah.742.8048
738LES_se0_ag2_f_01742.9074This is a memory743.7980
740 744.1512that's good and bad in itself.745.5361 
741LES_int_01745.6293Okay.746.0723
742LES_se0_ag2_f_01746.5806When we were little, we played this game called colors.748.7815
743LES_int_01749.1452Okay, what is it?749.9472
744LES_se0_ag2_f_01750.1943Kay.750.4601
746 750.6746Before you left a- if we was living toge- if we was friends [and we was] growing up [together,]754.5341 
747LES_int_01753.3078[Yeah.]753.5782
749 754.4175[Yeah.]754.7999 
750LES_se0_ag2_f_01754.9724Before we left this house, we had to pick a color.756.5719
752 756.7118What's your color? Purple?757.6257 
753LES_int_01759.2854Sure.759.6538
754LES_se0_ag2_f_01759.7284Alright. I'm red.760.5444
755LES_int_01760.6610Okay.761.1552
756LES_se0_ag2_f_01761.5763We'd walk out,762.2758
758 762.7094and we'd count763.4648 
760 763.5720how many crack vials we see with that color [top.]765.7017 
761LES_int_01765.2870[<laugh>]765.7017
762 765.9725No. (laughing)766.4947
763LES_se0_ag2_f_01767.6041Okay.768.1311
765 768.4202[So, if you had]769.4227 
766LES_int_01768.7381[Oh my God.]769.8385
767LES_se0_ag2_f_01769.5856[so, we would] get ready to go to this post [office]771.7445
768LES_int_01771.5860[Yeah.]772.0057
769LES_se0_ag2_f_01772.7844By the time we got to the post office and back,775.0089
771 775.8762you was letting me know every time you saw777.4569 
773 777.7460a purple one.778.3804 
774LES_int_01778.3804Yeah.778.7535
775LES_se0_ag2_f_01778.7535And I was letting you know every time I saw a red one. And we got points.781.8030
776 782.2367And upon the end of the day,783.6934
778 784.5925we always would forget sometimes or whatever.786.4017 
780 786.4950But,786.9147 
782 787.5115either way,788.1923 
784 788.4534that's how much drugs was in this neighborhood.789.9668 
785LES_int_01789.9702Shit.790.4916
786LES_se0_ag2_f_01790.4521Where790.9697
787 791.2681there were crack vials792.0981
789 792.2939everywhere.792.8955 
791 793.0260Drug needles.793.8980 
793 794.1404That was- that was a common thing in grass, so you didn't play in grass.797.3052 
795 797.6223[You kept off grass]798.5408 
796LES_int_01797.7668[Yeah.]798.1585
797LES_se0_ag2_f_01798.7926cause it's a place where dogs799.9469
799 800.3106t- crapped at800.9914 
800LES_int_01801.0241Yeah.801.5603
801LES_se0_ag2_f_01801.8587you had drug needles in it,803.0781
802LES_int_01803.2739Yeah.803.6143
803LES_se0_ag2_f_01803.6143and-803.8661
804 804.2904and crack vials. They looked like little perfume-806.4167
806 806.8644[it looks like little perfume crack vials.]808.2770 
807LES_int_01806.8644[Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.] And were there all different [colors?]809.9044
808LES_se0_ag2_f_01809.6945[All] in different colors.810.6131
809 810.8882So, every w- depending what color you pick, I w- my color was always purple. I gave you purple today.814.5799
810LES_int_01814.6358Oh. Thanks.815.3840
812 815.7270Was it a good color?816.4357 
813LES_se0_ag2_f_01816.4357But purple, I'd be like purple. And I'd be like, there go purp- there goes five purple!819.4704
814 819.7409I used to f- I'd have like, I had like this uh821.7179
816 822.2495this- this science to it [like nah man. Purple is] the color.825.0388 
817LES_int_01823.6113[<laugh>]824.3760
818LES_se0_ag2_f_01825.1694Everybody gets the purp- I [really did.]827.0539
819LES_int_01826.5690[<laugh>]827.9725
820LES_se0_ag2_f_01827.8140[But.] So. Yeah. It was purple. And i- this was in school yards830.6851
821 830.8204and831.2573
823 831.8914and churches. [And any type] of grass over here, there was drug needles [and] crack vials and836.6957 
824LES_int_01833.0805[Yeah.]833.4442
826 835.5533[Yeah.]835.9310 
827LES_se0_ag2_f_01836.8356all of that in there.837.5164
829 838.2111Um.838.6028 
830LES_int_01838.5702[So, where-] where did you play as a kid? Like [where did you go?]841.6858
831LES_se0_ag2_f_01838.7847[But.]839.1484
833 840.6226[That's the funny]841.2148 
835 841.3780[so, we] played in parks still. We [still played] in these parks.843.7323 
836LES_int_01842.6918[Okay.]843.0835
837 843.7323Okay.844.0727
838LES_se0_ag2_f_01844.0727We still844.6949
839 845.3571played in these parks. [So, yeah,] we still- that's what I'm saying, like847.7118
840LES_int_01846.1171[Yeah.]846.5321
841LES_se0_ag2_f_01847.8332it was- this is a negative part of it, but849.3673
843 849.6937I r- I remember that850.5311 
845 850.7876That was fun [for me as a little kid. That was a] fun game.853.3344 
846LES_int_01851.3993[You were like (laughing), that was a fun game]852.7095
847LES_se0_ag2_f_01853.4090[You know.]853.9126
848LES_int_01853.5271[Yeah.]853.9973
849LES_se0_ag2_f_01854.0524Not knowing the real implications of it.855.9179
851 856.4682Even, um,857.3728 
853 857.9883where we played uh,859.0001 
855 859.6436I remember one time this boy chased us with a freaking drug needle.862.1564 
857 862.6952He picked it up and we- that was when AIDS was around. We was like, you didn't know about AIDS much, but it [was like you knew that]867.0829 
858LES_int_01866.2669[Yeah.]866.8684
859LES_se0_ag2_f_01867.4420you associated it with drugs too and drug needles, and we was like869.7894
861 870.2230he's gonna give us AIDS! And [we used to tell everybody] he's had AIDS cause he picked up the drug needle!875.0728 
862LES_int_01872.0966[Yeah.]872.7214
863LES_se0_ag2_f_01875.3805But there was drug needles.876.5844
864LES_int_01876.7522[Jeez.]877.6475
865LES_se0_ag2_f_01876.9667[When I got, um]878.1324
866 879.2645<ts> When I got older, I played basketball.880.8035
867LES_int_01881.0879Yeah.881.4516
868LES_se0_ag2_f_01881.8573And, uh. The way we played, uh, we has to- we used to steal885.3218
870 885.6342brooms from the maintenance men886.9818 
871LES_int_01887.2769Yeah.887.6313
872LES_se0_ag2_f_01887.8132and clean our parks889.1188
874 889.5058before we played on them.890.3311 
876 890.8767We had to clean the gra- we had to clean the [glass off of them.]893.2303 
877LES_int_01892.5975[Yeah.]893.0780
878 893.5381Yeah.893.9204
879LES_se0_ag2_f_01893.9204And, uh.894.7085
880 894.8763We would beg the junkies896.0327
882 896.1913like, we would make like, agreements with them. Like, man897.9478 
884 898.3908please don't pee in this corner man.899.6264 
886 899.8922Cause it's gonna get on the court.900.8808 
888 901.1419It's gonna get on the court man.902.3263 
890 902.5501Please.903.1600 
892 903.3045pee in the other [corner.]904.1795 
893LES_int_01903.9277[<laugh> Just over there. Just over there.]906.5985
894LES_se0_ag2_f_01904.4862[And we used to beg them. Yeah. Just pee]906.8783
895 907.5171over908.0487
897 908.2026[there.]908.8998 
898LES_int_01908.7460[<laugh>]910.5179
899LES_se0_ag2_f_01909.9956[And these were] all men911.4142
900 911.5074that911.9178
902 912.6872were attached to families.914.1466 
903LES_int_01914.1466Oh.914.8741
904LES_se0_ag2_f_01915.2424But, they were like these serious public drug [users.]917.4806
905LES_int_01917.2568[Wow.]917.8789
906LES_se0_ag2_f_01917.9903And they- some of them were- had alcohol problems, some of them were921.0153
908 921.4630addicted to other types of drugs,922.7080 
910 923.0344but, it was still a community.924.6384 
912 924.7317Which is oddly enough.925.8123 
913LES_int_01925.8123Yeah.926.2413
914LES_se0_ag2_f_01926.2506They still like927.0713
916 927.3650I still could walk- if we walked by this basketball court right now,930.4053 
917LES_int_01930.4286Yeah.930.8949
918LES_se0_ag2_f_01930.9928And these- those guys are still there.932.5211
919LES_int_01932.6609[Yeah.]932.9221
920LES_se0_ag2_f_01932.7682[They're] still there, sitting there. Everything's changing around them but they're still there.935.5006
921 935.8026And they call me Sheryl Swoops. They joke around. So, they be like937.8170
922LES_int_01937.9004[<laugh>]939.1310
923LES_se0_ag2_f_01938.1506[they're all drunk, and they're like] Aye, Sheryl Swoops.940.6180
924LES_int_01940.8770[<laugh>]941.4785
925LES_se0_ag2_f_01941.1580[But.]941.4741
926 941.6102That- they would look at y- they were looking at me and watching me grow up and.945.0108
927LES_int_01945.1732Yeah.945.6430
928LES_se0_ag2_f_01945.7592They still even /and/ make dumb conversation, ask me if I'm- what happened to basketball?948.9104
929LES_int_01949.0509[Right.]949.4224
930LES_se0_ag2_f_01949.1852[But.]949.5496
931 949.6831These are the people that- this was my neighborhood. This is where we played at952.3074
932LES_int_01952.4786[Yeah.]952.9140
933LES_se0_ag2_f_01952.7289[Those] are the things that I remember.954.3445
934LES_int_01954.7110So, I mean, you- It sounds like you didn't necessarily feel unsafe957.9203
936 958.2101even being in this kind of959.8669 
938 960.4552unsafe environment.961.6142 
939LES_se0_ag2_f_01961.6866You knew what to do.962.9291
941 963.3725When my mother- when I walked in the building as a little girl, we had to ring the bell before we walked in the building968.1497 
943 968.3906so my mother knew that we was in the building.970.1818 
944LES_int_01970.3355Okay.970.7218
945LES_se0_ag2_f_01971.0291Um. When we was leaving the building, we had to ring the bell when we left the building, so [my mother] knew that we made it out of the building.976.6904
946LES_int_01974.6396[Okay.]974.9705
947 976.8939Okay.977.2452
949 977.4383Cause the building was not978.7861 
950LES_se0_ag2_f_01978.7861The building wasn't safe. [Yeah.]979.9057
951LES_int_01979.4315[necessarily.]980.5071
952LES_se0_ag2_f_01980.1384[Yeah.]980.5071
953 980.6476This is what she nee- you know.981.7320
954LES_int_01981.7320Yeah.982.1754
955LES_se0_ag2_f_01982.2281W- we had tight codes when983.8071
957 984.0881when we- you w- we were at home, we answered the door for no one, not even family members.988.0262 
958LES_int_01987.9515[Oh.]988.2940
959LES_se0_ag2_f_01988.1535[Not] even- I got in huge trouble when I let my cousin in one day.990.7262
960 991.1465And I was like, but he's my family. My mother told me, you do not994.0090
962 994.1715open the door995.2207 
964 995.3876for anyone.996.3512 
966 996.5664[Anybody.]997.3171 
967LES_int_01996.5664[Yeah.]996.7815
969 997.1634[Nobody.]997.7561 
970LES_se0_ag2_f_01997.7561Nobody.998.6517
971 998.8668Nobody.999.5078
973 999.9117So, I got in trouble for that once.1001.1986 
975 1001.6618Um.1002.0876 
977 1002.6628<ts> Always travel in pairs. Like when my sister and I, we used to always1005.3452 
979 1005.7184t- um walk with each other.1006.7051 
980LES_int_011006.7710Yeah.1007.1002
981LES_se0_ag2_f_011007.1002Um. When we had Walkmans, right, you couldn't-1009.1725
982 1009.4534You couldn't- um1010.1910
984 1010.2832hold it out like now, and you had to not have it loud1013.1351 
986 1013.3677because somebody might come up and run up on you.1014.9751 
987LES_int_011015.1068Right.1015.4976
988LES_se0_ag2_f_011015.6732When you, um,1016.8673
990 1017.3151you kept a quarter. My mother made sure we kept quarters tight on our little bras.1020.6803 
991LES_int_011020.8164[Yeah.]1021.1500
992LES_se0_ag2_f_011020.9305[So we] could call at a pay phone in case of emergency.1023.2102
993LES_int_011023.3638Yeah.1023.6931
994LES_se0_ag2_f_011023.9126And1024.4702
996 1024.9443uh. You know.1026.0243 
998 1026.5292Put the f- I don't know. We- I just never-1028.6294 
1000 1029.4065I never felt1030.6270 
1002 1030.9738uns- I felt like they- I would have those fears, but I knew that like1033.9301 
1004 1034.1760there was these things that I had t- [to do.]1036.0106 
1005LES_int_011035.7252[You sort] of knew- [You had like] a set of [rules.]1038.6301
1006LES_se0_ag2_f_011036.6940[To keep.]1037.0804
1008 1038.3184[Rules.] Yeah. When you got down the block, you- you didn't go down the whole block without looking down at least [once.]1042.4672 
1009LES_int_011042.3838[Yeah.]1042.9267
1010LES_se0_ag2_f_011042.6501[Never did] that. It didn't [make sense] to me.1044.3561
1011LES_int_011043.8091[Yeah.]1044.0067
1012LES_se0_ag2_f_011044.7355You know, you was taught that. You walk down the block,1046.3687
1013LES_int_011046.5223[Right.]1046.8867
1014LES_se0_ag2_f_011046.5838[You look,] you check yourself. Check your surroundings every once in a while.1049.1549
1015LES_int_011049.1549Yeah.1049.5719
1016LES_se0_ag2_f_011049.6510These the things that w-1050.5510
1018 1050.6739we were just raised up with.1051.8060 
1019LES_int_011051.9509[Right.]1052.4251
1020LES_se0_ag2_f_011052.0738[I remember] throwing out the garbage.1053.4744
1021 1053.9651There was this1054.4349
1023 1054.7246um, junkie guy,1055.9495 
1025 1056.2305um, he was running away form people shooting at him.1058.0202 
1027 1059.1485And we had just finished thro- we had just been- we had literally just throw- we would throw out the garbage1063.1513 
1029 1063.3840while he had just ran away from somebody shooting at him.1065.1050 
1031 1065.6187And I remember like,1066.4001 
1033 1066.9116him breathing so hard1068.8302 
1035 1068.9267and1069.5370 
1037 1070.0858and- and um1070.8656 
1039 1071.0192sweating and he was- it was1072.7490 
1041 1072.8588we heard the gunshots, and then I figured we- we- we they was probably, like that was the guy that was1076.2832 
1043 1076.7167but I remember us throwing out the garbage1077.9767 
1045 1078.2621and I remember being like this little girl.1079.8627 
1047 1079.9812When my- cause my sister and I threw out the garbage together, like come on. What kind-1082.6129 
1049 1082.7753kind of- neighborhood you have [to throw out the garbage together.]1084.9073 
1050LES_int_011084.1606[You throw together.]1085.2865
1051LES_se0_ag2_f_011085.4254It's just- but.1086.0488
1053 1086.6898Um.1087.3878 
1055 1087.9558We- I remember us like, just knowing what to do.1089.9237 
1057 1090.0730I remember just knowing like1091.1618 
1059 1091.5437Don't pay him no mind.1092.6435 
1061 1092.9421Act calm.1093.6840 
1063 1093.8201Act like he's not even here.1095.1109 
1065 1095.6448And throw out the garbage. And I was fucking terrified.1098.1604 
1066LES_int_011098.3931[Yeah.]1098.8278
1067LES_se0_ag2_f_011098.5512[But I remember] like, just being like1100.0537
1068 1100.3479no. We gonna throw out- and her and I literally talked like he wasn't s-1102.9454
1070 1103.2001<imitates breathing> like breathing all hard, out of breath.1106.3611 
1072 1106.5981We were talking, like, yeah the food was good. And we both knew. We didn't even-1109.8502 
1074 1110.1180We never looked at each other once1111.6195 
1076 1111.8346to know like, man, we just keep it moving. Don't act like we don't see him, throw the garbage out, act like we don't even know he's there.1117.0519 
1077LES_int_011117.1161You knew [exactly.]1118.1522
1078LES_se0_ag2_f_011117.5551[They-]1117.7922
1080 1118.1434We knew exactly wha- they were drug dealers, they-1119.7415 
1081 1119.9302they sold drugs in the buildings.1121.4048
1083 1121.7648Um.1122.3537 
1085 1122.5293All the time. They was drugs- dru- drug dealer- I'm talking about huge operations.1125.8873 
1086LES_int_011125.8873Yeah.1126.3527
1087LES_se0_ag2_f_011126.4097On every floor. You-1127.5490
1089 1127.7773we used [to hang]1128.3480 
1090LES_int_011128.0783[/RD-ADDRESS-2/]1128.8310
1091LES_se0_ag2_f_011128.8617Yeah. /RD-ADDRESS-2/ [too.]1129.8830
1092LES_int_011129.6043[Yeah.]1130.0454
1093LES_se0_ag2_f_011130.1771We used to be in the um, hallway. We used to play a lot in the hallway too. [That was another] safe place.1133.7596
1094LES_int_011132.8420[Yeah.]1133.2196
1095 1133.8694[Okay.]1134.2118
1096LES_se0_ag2_f_011134.0977[Play] out in the hallway1134.9142
1097 1135.2460and when1135.9002
1099 1136.1884we would go by the- some people were coming by to get the drugs, you would see like1139.9879 
1101 1140.1206tons of money on the1141.0173 
1103 1141.5845table and1142.3211 
1105 1142.7993it was just c- we couldn't [even think about it.]1144.6338 
1106LES_int_011143.8743[That's crazy.]1144.8945
1107 1145.3429Did you ever have any like, experiences1147.4565
1109 1147.6394that affected you personally with1149.2523 
1111 1149.4033any of this s- stuff? Like vi- li- violence,1152.3125 
1113 1152.5778<ts>1152.7059 
1115 1152.9667fights,1153.8405 
1117 1154.8012Did it ever like touch you? You know, you saw it. But [did it touch you?]1157.9918 
1118LES_se0_ag2_f_011157.0403[<ts> I saw it.] No I saw it but1159.0486
1119 1159.7120I never touched it. Even when I was older, my mother was like1161.7341
1121 1162.1570nine o'clock. You gotta be home.1163.6255 
1123 1163.8222I don't care what none of your friends are doing.1165.7254 
1124LES_int_011165.7948[Yeah.]1166.2709
1125LES_se0_ag2_f_011165.8742[Nine-o'clock. You gotta.]1166.4524
1126 1166.5443no- not- no- no- not nine-o-1168.0358
1128 1168.4061one.1168.8498 
1130 1169.0879[Nine o'clock.]1169.7579 
1131LES_int_011169.0879[Yeah.]1169.4053
1132LES_se0_ag2_f_011170.2138And if I came in at nine-o-one,1171.7787
1134 1172.0256one day without the phone.1172.9910 
1136 1173.3437[Nine fifteen]1174.1328 
1137LES_int_011173.7043[Oh, shit.]1174.3303
1138LES_se0_ag2_f_011174.4105fifteen days without the phone. Nine thirty, thirty days without the phone.1178.1555
1140 1178.6139And, if you wanna knock out some days, you have to clean out the cabinets,1181.9796 
1142 1182.2353and rearrange the linen closet1183.8576 
1144 1184.0295to knock off some days, but.1185.4269 
1146 1185.8434But, that's [what.]1186.3504 
1147LES_int_011186.2225[She was] tough.1187.0645
1148LES_se0_ag2_f_011187.0572Yeah, she was tough. But, so, other than that, we really, I mean, I have to if-1190.0834
1149 1190.2201I have to really think about1191.6175
1151 1192.3537well, my brother1193.1708 
1152LES_int_011193.7527[Mm-hm.]1194.0613
1153LES_se0_ag2_f_011193.9203[was] attacked a lot. My brother's also homosexual.1196.3493
1154 1197.0943And [um.]1197.7864
1155LES_int_011197.5395[Oh] no. So, [I'm sh- yeah. I mean.]1201.1378
1156LES_se0_ag2_f_011198.8960[That made- that was like, that just made it-]1200.7542
1157 1201.1497That just added- that just added fuel to it.1202.7131
1159 1203.1054And um.1203.8593 
1161 1205.0410<ts> I watched my mother struggle with that, you know, struggle with tryna um,1207.9505 
1163 1208.9291worry about her son who wasn't accepted in the [community and]1211.6579 
1164LES_int_011211.1818[Yeah.]1211.8298
1165LES_se0_ag2_f_011212.4307um,1212.9663
1166LES_int_011212.9663Sucks.1213.6336
1167LES_se0_ag2_f_011213.6336it wasn't safe for him.1214.7657
1168 1215.1126So, like, he came home, he came home a couple of times beat up.1218.1073
1170 1219.0336Um. Jumped.1219.8272 
1172 1219.9764And then at one point, his husband, who he's still with today,1221.8774 
1173LES_int_011221.9784[Yeah.]1222.2418
1174LES_se0_ag2_f_011221.9916[they still] together, it was1222.8872
1175LES_int_011223.1791Yeah.1223.4206
1176LES_se0_ag2_f_011223.4206they're- they're going on like sixteen- seventeen years. I don't know. [Eighteen years. I'm doing a discredit.]1227.2851
1177LES_int_011225.4506[Oh, that's cool.]1226.8423
1178LES_se0_ag2_f_011227.3949[They've been together] for a long time.1228.8091
1179LES_int_011227.3949[Yeah.]1227.7373
1180LES_se0_ag2_f_011229.4918And at the time, he was actually staying with us too. And I remember them coming home one day1232.8767
1182 1233.5709and he's a- he was a foster kid and1235.3446 
1184 1235.9632displaced out of his community, and my [mother-] My mother used to also take everybody in too.1239.6197 
1185LES_int_011237.5728[Yeah.]1237.8267
1186LES_se0_ag2_f_011239.7997[I hated that.]1240.4627
1187LES_int_011239.7997[Yeah. <laugh>]1241.5207
1188LES_se0_ag2_f_011240.7349[I hated that.]1241.5207
1189 1241.9191I- I learned, like I have to share spaces with people1244.4684
1191 1244.7625I would be on my- I would come in the morning and all these different people woul- are on the floor, living in my house. My cousins.1249.7307 
1192LES_int_011249.7263[<laugh>]1250.6439
1193LES_se0_ag2_f_011250.0731[Next door] neighbors.1251.1839
1194LES_int_011251.2673[<laugh>]1252.0999
1195LES_se0_ag2_f_011251.7662[You know.] So, that's how it touched me too.1253.5794
1196LES_int_011253.6585Yeah.1253.9746
1197LES_se0_ag2_f_011253.9746So, like, my brother, he came home beat up a couple of times.1256.3936
1198 1256.7843Uh,1257.5862
1200 1257.7926my cousins1258.6926 
1202 1258.8682got into some stuff.1259.9943 
1204 1260.0997My father,1260.6836 
1206 1260.8987he's addicted to [drugs.]1262.0446 
1207LES_int_011261.8514[Yeah.]1262.4309
1208LES_se0_ag2_f_011262.4309So, what does that mean? Like1263.7919
1209 1264.3231um, the people that are, um,1265.9991
1211 1266.7894that were around me sometimes weren't-1268.4752 
1213 1269.4537could do some foul behavior, you know, [like, nasty] people, like1272.1054 
1214LES_int_011270.9335[Yeah.]1271.5394
1215LES_se0_ag2_f_011272.2986My mother, one day,1273.0449
1217 1273.2996I remember, this junkie lady kissed me,1275.0513 
1219 1275.4277and my mother makes a big deal out of it. She's like, oh your daughters are so cute.1278.4438 
1221 1278.5887Come here!1279.1419 
1223 1279.3526And my mother used to tell me, never let anybody kiss us, like she was strict with everything.1282.2908 
1224LES_int_011282.2908Yeah.1282.7722
1225LES_se0_ag2_f_011282.7722And this lady was like1283.5376
1226 1283.9871and she kissed me, and my mother, she literally went crazy.1287.1349
1228 1288.0173Oh my gosh! [You never kiss my daughter!]1290.7366 
1229LES_int_011289.1857[<laugh>]1291.6267
1230LES_se0_ag2_f_011291.2722[We don't know where] her lips were, my mother washed [my face, she would check me- took] me to the doctor to get my skin checked, it was a big thing.1297.8098
1231LES_int_011293.2873[Oh.]1294.8327
1232 1297.8098Yeah.1298.1391
1233LES_se0_ag2_f_011298.1391But, it was like, no. No. Don't touch my children. I don't want none of the- [these things]1301.2392
1234LES_int_011300.7217[Okay.]1301.2392
1235LES_se0_ag2_f_011301.7046touching them. My brother got beat up.1303.0848
1237 1303.3646My other brother-1304.3298 
1239 1304.6142<ts> I- I once had a gun pulled out on me.1306.3756 
1241 1306.6694But, it was like1307.5647 
1243 1308.5113if I think about it, it was this guy, his name is /RD-NAME-1/.1310.7075 
1245 1311.0012And I was ta- he was tryna talk to one of my little friends.1313.3942 
1247 1313.4828And he's my brother's age.1314.6205 
1248LES_int_011314.6951Yeah.1315.1101
1249LES_se0_ag2_f_011315.3869He's tryna talk to my little friend.1316.7019
1250LES_int_011316.8184Yeah.1317.1355
1251LES_se0_ag2_f_011317.1355And I was like, I'm- was almost a little- like really like1319.4907
1252 1319.7454outspoken. I still am, but you know.1321.6612
1253LES_int_011321.6612[No. <laugh>]1324.0451
1254LES_se0_ag2_f_011322.0607[I know, right.]1322.6095
1256 1323.0222[I was more like, what?]1323.9617 
1257 1324.2075And I said to him, but t- should've minded my business, I said1326.3193
1259 1326.9734That's a little girl you're messing with. You don't got enough girls your age? What you doing with that little girl? That's nasty.1332.2752 
1261 1332.8366And1333.4600 
1263 1333.5742we were still young. He was probably was sixteen, or1336.0772 
1265 1336.4196fifteen at the time. He was still a young kid, we were all still little kids, but [he had a] gun.1340.3034 
1266LES_int_011339.4824[Yeah.]1339.8931
1267LES_se0_ag2_f_011341.0717He had a gun.1341.6731
1268LES_int_011341.8092Yeah.1342.1253
1269LES_se0_ag2_f_011342.1253And he [came up to me,]1343.0484
1270LES_int_011342.6174[And he-] he pulled it?1343.9879
1271LES_se0_ag2_f_011343.9879He pulled it out on me. He was like you need to open u- you need to shut your mouth up1347.0435
1272 1347.4365or I'll take care of you-1348.6696
1274 1348.7749I'll take care of you and your- and go- and he said, I'll take care of you, he says, and get your brother.1352.4057 
1276 1353.0203And that's when I realize, like1354.3462 
1278 1355.3955that's just like1356.1067 
1280 1356.5589that's a condition in my community1358.1482 
1281LES_int_011358.2711[Yeah.]1358.8375
1282LES_se0_ag2_f_011358.5038[and my brother]1359.4609
1283 1359.7945I realize I need to never do that again. Never open my mouth and put my family at risk, cause here it is, my brother1364.8647
1284LES_int_011365.0340[Right].1365.4816
1285LES_se0_ag2_f_011365.1552[He wasn't] a drug dealer.1366.2697
1286 1366.4981My brother was a basketball player. And that's what made him cool. He could dunk,1369.4056
1287LES_int_011369.6713[Yeah.]1369.9138
1288LES_se0_ag2_f_011369.7086[he was] fast, and that's why everybody respected him. That's where he got his respect. [Not from selling] drugs or anything like that,1374.7778
1289LES_int_011373.0672[Yeah.]1373.5335
1290LES_se0_ag2_f_011375.0343and that's what his- that's what his thing was, like1376.7922
1291LES_int_011376.9027[Yeah.]1377.3337
1292LES_se0_ag2_f_011377.0626[Man] and I'll shoot your punk ass brother too. And what1379.3790
1293 1379.9246And it made me realize, man the community I was in, there's fifteen year-olds with guns.1383.5236
1295 1383.9665And1384.4375 
1296LES_int_011384.4375Yeah.1384.9504
1297LES_se0_ag2_f_011385.0483you know, my brother could-1386.2866
1299 1386.4218could a- could potentially be1387.9279 
1301 1388.3511you know, could have gotten killed because of that.1390.0825 
1302LES_int_011390.4649Yeah.1390.8799
1303LES_se0_ag2_f_011390.9591You know, [so.]1391.7938
1304LES_int_011391.4954[Yeah.]1391.9104
1305LES_se0_ag2_f_011392.8243And then that's1393.2180
1307 1393.3159I mean, not even counting all the little hood fights that happened [but]1395.8209 
1308LES_int_011395.6627[<laugh>]1397.0942
1309LES_se0_ag2_f_011396.0401[nothing crazy. Nothing] like1397.7144
1310 1398.2413really crazy actually1399.5787
1312 1400.1289directly affected me until later on, when I came back to the neighborhood from college.1404.2249 
1313LES_int_011404.4580Okay, so you went away?1405.6611
1314LES_se0_ag2_f_011405.7730Yeah, I went away.1406.4118
1315LES_int_011406.5800Okay.1406.9250
1317 1407.8390Um.1408.8368 
1319 1409.1166<ts>1409.2378 
1321 1409.5836And then, I mean, what was different when you came back?1411.8374 
1322LES_se0_ag2_f_011412.4914<ts>1412.6277
1324 1413.4393Man.1414.1434 
1326 1415.1133Everything.1415.7848 
1328 1421.5749Everything.1422.2511 
1329LES_int_011422.2697[What?]1422.7127
1330LES_se0_ag2_f_011422.4236[And]1422.7127
1331 1422.8432I- it was more like, [you know how]1424.3074
1332LES_int_011423.5707[What was it?]1424.3074
1333LES_se0_ag2_f_011425.3461you know, if you look at this painting, right.1426.7962
1335 1427.0574[This painting] that's sitting there and you're staring really close to it, you could admire all the detail of everything, [and all the] colors.1432.0153 
1336LES_int_011427.0574[Mm-hm.]1427.5535
1338 1431.0927[Yeah.]1431.4470 
1339LES_se0_ag2_f_011432.6961And it just took a while for me to really step back and see what was happening in my neighborhood.1436.7993
1340LES_int_011436.9812Yeah.1437.3729
1341LES_se0_ag2_f_011437.3729You know, and then see the whole full picture.1439.1467
1342LES_int_011439.3006[Yeah.]1439.7342
1343LES_se0_ag2_f_011439.5104[So, it] looked very beautiful1440.7600
1344 1441.1647at-1441.3652
1346 1441.5564at the time.1442.1766 
1347LES_int_011442.1766Yeah.1442.5776
1348LES_se0_ag2_f_011442.8853And when you say revitalize, like these- I ca- I put them in like- I've been doing these- when I do workshops, I'm like, let's put down some new1448.3990
1350 1449.0199bad curse words, like revitalize.1451.4845 
1352 1451.8482Like1452.2632 
1354 1452.5243deconcentrate1453.6291 
1355LES_int_011453.6823[<laugh>]1454.1252
1356LES_se0_ag2_f_011454.0301[like,]1454.7528
1357 1455.0419these are these new1456.2962
1358LES_int_011456.4892[Yeah.]1456.9275
1359LES_se0_ag2_f_011456.5638[bad] words.1457.6529
1360 1457.9653Tha- we didn't ne- we never knew what-1459.4201
1362 1459.5880would hurt us.1460.4320 
1363LES_int_011460.4973[Yeah.]1460.9496
1364LES_se0_ag2_f_011460.5299[Revitalize] our community? That [sounds great.]1462.7888
1365LES_int_011462.2496[Sound- sounds] pretty [good.]1463.6018
1366LES_se0_ag2_f_011463.3034[Sounds] pretty good.1464.3945
1367LES_int_011464.3945Yeah.1464.8468
1368LES_se0_ag2_f_011464.8468But, no. It's not gonna always be1466.7667
1369 1467.4102you know, a- positive things that are coming out of that.1469.2987
1370LES_int_011469.4712[Right.]1469.7743
1371LES_se0_ag2_f_011469.6344[And] when- when I first- when I've1471.0100
1372 1471.4145when I w-1472.0114
1374 1473.7133I remember like1474.3055 
1376 1475.0236programs were thriving1476.3199 
1377LES_int_011476.5064Yeah.1476.8654
1378LES_se0_ag2_f_011477.2793<ts> and I remember1478.2632
1380 1478.5196uh. Kids were /very/ involved and- and- and-1481.6997 
1382 1482.1847and I noticed too, like this is um,1484.0618 
1384 1484.3509simultaneously, funding stopped-1485.5400 
1386 1485.7032started getting cut from um, programs1487.7455 
1388 1487.8714locally.1488.2930 
1389LES_int_011488.3862Okay.1488.7360
1390LES_se0_ag2_f_011488.7919This is like maybe like. Yeah, like1490.4662
1392 1491.3661almost like twenty years ago.1492.6624 
1393LES_int_011492.8209Okay.1493.1007
1394LES_se0_ag2_f_011493.1007When Giuliani and /unintelligible/ and [Pataki]1495.9752
1395LES_int_011495.6721[Yeah.]1496.4181
1396LES_se0_ag2_f_011496.2596[They] started cutting [programs.]1497.6771
1397LES_int_011497.3507[Yeah.] Yeah. [Yeah.]1498.3066
1398LES_se0_ag2_f_011498.1061[Tremendously.]1498.9546
1399LES_int_011499.0665Yeah.1499.4256
1400LES_se0_ag2_f_011499.4256In the neighborhoods.1500.3581
1401LES_int_011500.3581Yeah.1500.7638
1402LES_se0_ag2_f_011500.8431And1501.2534
1404 1502.1847that affected1503.0179 
1406 1503.2528a lot. I used to coach basketball.1504.8615 
1407LES_int_011505.1584Okay.1505.5484
1408LES_se0_ag2_f_011505.7124I was one of those l- that's another thing that's a memory1507.5773
1410 1507.9229when I was a little girl, I was this tomboy1509.5583 
1412 1509.8818and1510.4136 
1414 1510.6219they was like- I used to always come, and they was like, you know what,1512.6029 
1416 1512.8645if you want little girls- Cause I kept on saying, I want little girls, they say, you know what? You want little girls,1516.2592 
1418 1516.3877go get 'em.1516.9284 
1420 1517.9920And I said1518.4441 
1422 1518.6701oh.1519.0335 
1424 1519.2295And then if I get little girls, we could have a team?1521.0687 
1426 1521.4942He said, yeah.1522.0683 
1427LES_int_011522.8129Oh.1523.1585
1428LES_se0_ag2_f_011523.1585So, I'm like, no problem.1524.1246
1429 1524.5324Me and I could tell you right, my homegirl, /RD-NAME-2/, we still talk to this day, we still work together1528.3274
1431 1528.4781actually. Like, she works1529.5064 
1433 1529.9850with youths, and I work here, but we actually bridged those gaps. She has her youth come and organize with us and do1534.7946 
1434LES_int_011532.7496[Yeah.]1533.2194
1435LES_se0_ag2_f_011535.0693organize with public housing, but both of us went and we1537.6575
1437 1538.1893did recruiting1538.9081 
1439 1539.2803for- for youth. For girls, and we came up with all of these little girls1542.0986 
1440LES_int_011542.0986Yeah.1542.4842
1441LES_se0_ag2_f_011542.4975they were none of our- none of the- our age.1544.3943
1443 1544.9092[So, we] wind up becoming junior coaches, and we started our own little program.1548.1513 
1444LES_int_011544.9092[Yeah.]1545.1796
1445LES_se0_ag2_f_011548.3064This was- just is- very [true.]1549.7866
1446LES_int_011549.5248[How] old were you?1550.5799
1447LES_se0_ag2_f_011550.6153Literally, I was like probably like fourteen, fifteen.1553.1265
1448LES_int_011553.1886Oh. That's [so cool.]1554.7707
1449LES_se0_ag2_f_011554.1104[Fourteen, fifteen.]1555.1341
1450 1555.3557And [we had a team.]1556.3611
1451LES_int_011555.4614[Yeah.]1555.8559
1452LES_se0_ag2_f_011556.7112And we had practices. [And we had] the gym on certain hours, for [certain hours] for certain days. [We did it.]1561.3220
1453LES_int_011557.8201[<laugh>]1558.1791
1455 1559.6096[Yeah.]1560.0665 
1457 1560.8727[Yeah.]1561.1651 
1458LES_se0_ag2_f_011561.7785We did it.1562.2749
1460 1562.6161But, I used- so I used to coach basketball.1564.4462 
1462 1564.7640And one of the- a lot of little girls that we coached1566.8381 
1464 1567.1705they pregnant now.1567.9549 
1466 1568.4063They have babies and1569.4744 
1468 1570.2854And- and I- I mean, I'm not trying to say that that was the end all be all of the programs, but [they didn't] have no- anywhere to go. When we cut that program there was really nothing for those kids to do.1578.6939 
1469LES_int_011574.4085[Yeah.]1574.8162
1470 1578.8047Yeah.1579.2524
1471LES_se0_ag2_f_011579.6867And uh- [so I] came back and now a lot of them are1582.3336
1472LES_int_011580.7717[Yeah.]1581.0154
1473LES_se0_ag2_f_011582.4134pregnant and1583.2155
1475 1583.5789addicted to [drugs and.]1584.8406 
1476LES_int_011584.4411[Right.]1584.8229
1477 1584.9159Right. [Go i- go for it. No, don't worry about it.]1586.6177
1478LES_se0_ag2_f_011585.3104[Oh sorry. Let me]1586.2410
1480 1586.3696[turn this] off.1586.8792 
1481LES_int_011586.8792Don't worry. I can pause it too. Don't worry about it.1588.4436